Welcome to Growbox Hill

Welcome to Growbox Hill
Welcome to Growbox HIll!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Moonshadow, Moonshadow, 9/3/3-9/20/12

We lost our Moonshadow... My little itty bitty white kitty. My blue eyed girl. The only marshmallow I love, my puppy, my satellite, my herald. My fallen angel.

I rescued her and her sister from a garage at just weeks old in the chilly days of Autumn. Had to keep them locked up for days till I could get them in to the vet and get them all shot up so they could be around other kitties.
First time I knew what her name was... they were hiding under the bed as usual, and I was trying to coax them out by calling sweet names and words... Till I started singing Moonshadow. I started singing that and here came this tiny white poof with huge blue eyes creeping out from under the bed, and up into my lap, purring with much more force than her tiny body could possibly allow. Eventually her sister went to live with one of my sisters, but Moon stayed with me.

Moon grew up to be a tiny thing- six pounds of dinky little white touched with flourishes of grey Siamese coloring that she got from her father around her face, paws, and ringing her tail with toasted marshmallow along her spine. Impossibly huge blue eyes that once she looked up and me and meowed, no other sad eyes could affect me again.

She had a brain the size of a walnut, and was as scattered as the four winds. Always racing about, she never really stopped being a kitten- kept her kitten claws and teeth, kept her kitten ways of playing and loving. She was shy and skittish for the first couple years- and she never really lost that last touch of feral, but it made her all the more loveable. As she got older she got much friendlier, especially when she was in heat- she wanted lovings from everyone and anyone then.

She had such a big and loud purr- it was stunning that such a tiny body could produce such a loud noise. She was a nudger, pushing her head against your hand in love with a force of a cat three times her size. She didn't just walk across a room, she pranced, her little white mutton chop legs trit trotting away like she was the cutest thing in the universe- and of course she was.

In the morning, if my love was up first, she would some up and purr all loud in my ear and poke her paw into my face as if to tell me it was time to wake up because papa was awake... then as I left the bedroom, she would race ahead of me to wherever he was- she always knew which direction to go- and she would trounce into the room, my herald announcing I've woken up. She was my morning bathroom kitty- always having to be in there when I first got up, wanting loving pettings, to which she would get so happy she'd start playfully grabbing my hand and nipping it.

She was a porcupine- you could brush her all day long and not get much hair- but the moment you put on something black she would have a fur explosion all over you- no one's wardrobe is complete without a little Moon on them. She could kick off a snowstorm of white fur when she was intensely loving a petting.

She was a jealous little thing- give loving to anyone else, and darn it, she better get her share too. Call another cat, she came running too. I never could quite figure if she just thought I was calling her too or if she just knew she would get loving anyway.

She was Pookums Yin to his Yang. He all big and black, she all dainty and white. She was his companion, his personal face cleaner.

She glowed in the sunlight, and it was glorious. It was a halo, and she was my fallen angel lit up by the sun.

She was my perfect naynko... I would always tease about what tasty treats she could be.

She brought joy and moonlight to my life in a way I have never experienced with any other cat, nor probably ever will ever again. She was the most entertaining little foo I've ever encountered.

She would pitter patter so softly into our bedroom- and always curled up on me when I was sad or sick- she would lay out on my shoulder or hip. I would feel her light warmth on me and it always made me feel better, beloved... I could always tell when she was on the bed because she was the lightest, and her purr would proceed her. She was the cat that always consoled me most. When I was sad or sick and curled up in bed... The cats all hung out, but she was always the one that would curl up right on me and purr as if she could purr me back to health and happiness- and you know what? It always helped a lot. I don't know what to do with this sorrow without her to help purr it away. 

She always loved people food even though I don't allow the cats to have it. She would hear the crinkle of a chip bag and come running, wanting to try to get her head inside. Always having to shoo her off the kitchen counters- she was always hoping for some little scrap of people food to lick off a plate.
She always preferred to drink out of my water glass than out of the water dish. She would dip a dainty paw into the water to drink if she couldn't just stuff her head into my glass. She would paw her water out of the dish as often as she would bow her head to drink directly. 

She proved that cats have wings, always flitting and flying from one spot to another.. And when she was spooked the hair on her tail would stick straight out and I swear it was bigger than her body.

She loved her squishings. She would rub up against my legs, and I would pick her up. She would immediately start squirming and purring and get petted right out of my arms and jump away- only to come right back to do it all over again, and again, and again. For such a delicate little foo, she loved serious pettings. She would use my legs like a personal pincushion while I had her in my lap, flexing her paws in intense pleasure. She would smush her face between my palms so I could pet both sides of her head at once, and she loved under chin rubbings.

She was a joyous and bright light in our lives- and the world is a darker and deader place without her. Mornings will be emptier and more dreaded without her companionship.

She was a lady and a tramp, a lover and a fighter, the friendliest companion and the first greeter in the house. 

I know if I hadn't rescued her all those years ago she likely would either have been hit by a car, or made pregnant by some cat too big and died trying to hold a litter in her tiny body. So I know that she had many years of love and affection she would never have had otherwise. But I can't help but feel overwhelmed by tears that she didn't get another 9 years and lived to a ripe old age.

She seemed to have passed fairly peacefully and extremely suddenly. She was out being friendly and sociable, then went up under our bed and just... passed. I think I was in the room at the time, but I didn't know she was curled up there till much later in the day. Her tiny little body was kept warm in the spot she was, and when she was pulled out, she still had a little warmth to her- enough so that all I could do was hold her and cry and try to deny the truth... Moons gone. I know logically there was nothing I could have done to change or prevent it- but I can't help but feel like there's something, something...

There will never be another Moonshadow... All my pets are special and unique.. But she was extraordinary, a once in a lifetime if you are really lucky you will meet one kind of cat. They say when you are born, you only get a certain amount of heartbeats- and her tiny heart beat fast at the speed of joy and love. They say the brightest lights burn out quickest, and she was a supernova of brilliance packed into one tiny white furry body.

We laid her to rest in the sanctuary where the sun is always shining so it can always be warm and glowing on her, among the tall grasses where the birds play so she can always watch them. I made sure she is in sight of where I sit at my desk so I can look out and send her good morning love every day. I gave her one last loving stroking of her fur before we shrouded her and put her into a little box. We buried her a few feet down and placed a cairn of rocks over her- next spring when it's planting season I'm going to put in white with blue irises around her grave- I think it will be a suitable flower for her.

We will miss you my Moon Moon Moon, deeply. You left a big hole in our hearts where a little white ball of fur used to be. I love you my baby girl, and I will never forget you... Rest in peace my fallen angel, we are blessed that we had you grace us for nine years. I hope you come back to haunt me, my home is always open for you.

Goodbie baby.. Moonshadow, My Moon, Moon Moon Moon.... The world hurts without you. If I could clone you I would. I don't know if I never want more cats again so I don't have to feel this kind of pain, or if I will search the rest of my life for another that's just a fraction of awesome that you were...

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